Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Kupigiana Bomb!

Aigiasi (Metho) alitupiga challenge tuchore post za kisheng na mi staki kuchelewa kufanya hivo. Sasa ya mine ndio hii. Twende kazi.

Life ya mtaani ni interesting to death. Machalii hupigiana mabomb, kusetiana, kurushana mamanzi na visanga mob.

Paliwaga huu msee anaitwa Exmegu. Huitwa hivo juu yee aliwaga karao masiku zake before, wakapiga mission ikabackfire akatupwa nje ya force. Saa siku hizi ni dere wa mathrii lakini aliwaga konkodi kwanza kabla apigwe jeki akawa dere.

Juzi Exmegu ametokea mtaani na tumanzi tuwili wee! Tusupuu mbaya. Si unajua tu stori za watu wa mathrii? Kumendea tumanzi tuwadhii. Tumanzi tufupi alafu tumekuvalia zile mahipster za kuua mzee. Kamoja kamedandia Exmegu kwa mkono. Exmegu anajiskia ovyo. Wakaingia baesa moja ya mtaa wakapanda upstairs.

Kumbe hapa down kuna jamaa wawili wamebariz, wanapiga mabale zao mdogo tu. Mmoja ni Morioh na mwingine ni Kize. Morioh yuko juu ya kaveve mbaya. Taksin ni kaa ball ya golf. Ametafuna mpaka mshipa imetokea hapo juu kando ya macho ni kaa itapasuka. Wamecheki Exmegu na tumanzi, wakaangaliana wakapigana gota. Baaas. Wameblow.

Morioh akaamka spidi, akaenda baesa na usuko manyum, akatema ile veve, akaitisha mawode. Akaosha mdomo fiti, matoothpick kwa sana. Hajui kaa huto tumanzi ni twa mtaa ama ni tumbabi. Mababi hawapendi veve.

Sasa akapanda upstairs aka kuta Exmegu saa io ndio wameletewa keroro.

Morioh, "Sasa Exmegu ni aje?
Exmegu, " Ah Morioh, vopo? Si upoe down? Bamba ile seat. Salimia hawa mabeste wa mine. Huyu ni Shiroh (Saa Shiroh?), na huyu ni Wairish (Ni aje Wairish?)". Morioh akapoa. Exmegu hajui ni kaa kuita chui kati kati ya senge.

Morioh bila kuzubaa ashawaitishia keroro ingine. Akapigia Kize mobile hapo chini, " Wee kize si ukam na hiyo drink yetu? Kuja tupoe hapa na Exmegu". Kize akapanda. Amebeba mzinga ile soo ya Viceroy. 750 mils mzee.

Wakapiga piga stori. Morioh ako na bidii ya kuitisha. Kidogo ashaitisha rao kaa tatu. Exmegu akaanza kushindwa eeh, ni aje? Hawa wasee wako na mepu nini? Hata tumanzi tumeanza kuskiza stori za Morioh na Kize zaidi. Na Exmegu ameanza kuskia yuko drinks kias.

Kidogo Morioh akachomoa bahasha akampa Wairish. Akamshow, " Hebu nishkie hii baasha."
Wairish aka muuliza, "Ni ya?" Morioh akamshow, "Ah wee nishkie. Kuna cuzo wa mine nimeona akikam na akiniona na chapaa yee unisumbua vibaya sana". Wairish kucheki ile burungo, imejaa machapaa. Ngiri kaa mbao na upuzi. Akasema, "Sawa, lakini usisahau". Morioh anataka tumanzi tujue yee anaso. Actually Morioh na Kize ni mapedla wa madregi, mataptap na maboza. Wamekungaria to death. Kutoka juu mpaka chini madesigner. Na mabling? Wachanna Prezzo.

Exmegu akaingiza njeve. Kumethoka.

Stori na rao zingine. Shiroh sasa ata ashawachilia mkono ya Exmegu. Kidogo Kize akaita Exmegu. "Na Exmegu wacha nikuulizeee, ile kisanga ulimaliza?"
"Ati?"
"Ile kisanga ya juzi tulikutoa karao"
"Wee Kize umechizi nini? Unaongea juu ya nini?"
"Wacha kujifanya Exmegu. Morioh, si huu msee tulimchangia ngiri mbao juzi atoke Buuru karao?"
Morioh akasema, "Eeeh huu chalii alipiga manzi hapa ni kaa anamada nyoka bana. Manzi akajaza P3, Exmegu ndani."

Tumanzi tunacheki Exmegu tumepanua mdomo hatuamini.

Exmegu akasimama. Amejam vibaya mpaka mshipa ya shingo inashow. "Yaani Morioh mmekuja hapa na hio design? Wacheni wazimu! Shiroh, Wairish tuishieni wachaneni na hawa machizi!"
Tumanzi hatubanduki mzee. Tukasema na chorus, "Ah ah mi siendi!"

Mambo ya Exmegu iliishia hapo. Anyway mwishowe alichomoka akarusha mkono akawashow, "Baas, Morioh, Kize, kaeni nao! Hata kwanza ni makuro! Makuro wa mtaa hata sina haja!"

Akaishia.

Maisha ya mtaani ni tamu. To death.

Part mbee. Kusetiana. Uma njaro.

Monday, March 12, 2007

We have new money!

The way I see it, we have an alternate currency to transact with.

The launch of the new money transfer service by Safaricom (M-Pesa) goes beyond just sending money to folks in shags. The service effectively transforms my mobile handset into a wallet in which I can store money and from which I can pay for goods and services.

If my local butcher has a mobile phone, what's to prevent me "m-pesaring" him with two reds in exchange for a kilo? He will just need to visit a Safaricom agent the next day to get his cash.

If the mama mboga has a mobile phone, what's to prevent me m-pesaring her the one red in exchange for the tomatoes etc?

Why, I'll be able to withdraw from my mobile and pay for drinks at my local!

I am excited.

It's even more secure.

If I dont want to carry the 10k cash on a journey, I will just load the dough into my mobile and at a small fee redeem the units at the other end. In case my mobile phone is stolen or lost, anyone having it will need a pin number to transact.

So if all traders have a mobile phone number to which we can m-pesa them, we need not carry cash.