Thieves cause Domez

The aaa day (Kenyanspeak, hello KC?) a friend asked me to drop him at Nairobi West on my way home. While we are on Uhuru Highway I receive a call and when am thru with the call I place the cellphone just next to the gear stick.Now this call has made it necessary for me to go to Uhunyee. So I drop my friend at Nyayo and take the Indaa route to Jogoo road.

When my buddy alights, I forget to roll his window back up. It's one of these humid afternoons so I'm enjoying the kabreeze. Traffic is somewhat slow.

Now you know where my phone is, you know a window is open, so you know what's about to happen.

Only you dont know how.

When I get to the rise just before City Stadium, traffic is real slow. Suddenly, a man appears outside on my side, gesturing and shouting at me. He's not saying anything that makes sense, just making incoherent noises. Loudly. Then I sense a movement on my left. Turning, I see another man, head and shoulders inside the car reaching for the phone. WTF? I am so startled I freeze. The MF grabs my phone, joins his buddy on the other side and together they ran off towards some godowns opposite. All this happens in just a few seconds.

I am so mad.

Not because of the loss. Hell, phones are cheap nowadays. It's the manner in which I lost it. I mean, how can I fall for such a cheap trick? I feel stupid. Real stupid. And it's not like I havent heard of it. I have. Damn.

And that's not all. These guys aren't through with me. They are yet to inflict more damage. Normally thieves will remove the sim card and discard it. These idiots dont.

They are receiving my calls and answering them!

Callers are being told, "This guy left this phone on a charger here" Mara, "This guy's gone to the loo" and immediately disconnect.

Then Mama Junior calls. Just a routine call to find out what time I'm likely to be home, seeing as it's a Furahi Day. She's told, "This guy? This guy's just left with another chick to go upstairs" and they disconnect.

Do you hear?

Upstairs. With a chick. What would you think? And you know how women are.

Luckily, later on I borrow a buddy's phone and call Mama Junior. The moment she realises it's me, she's screaming, "Wewe! Why is your phone being answered by your friends? And who is this chick you are upstairs with?"

WTF?

Of course I have no idea what she's talking about. When she's slowed down enough for me to get in a word I coolly inform her that I lost my phone earlier in the evening and she was most probably talking to the new owners who were either malicious or mischievious or both.

So you see, I managed to avert a disaster. Major domez. Those fools!