Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Kupigiana Bomb!

Aigiasi (Metho) alitupiga challenge tuchore post za kisheng na mi staki kuchelewa kufanya hivo. Sasa ya mine ndio hii. Twende kazi.

Life ya mtaani ni interesting to death. Machalii hupigiana mabomb, kusetiana, kurushana mamanzi na visanga mob.

Paliwaga huu msee anaitwa Exmegu. Huitwa hivo juu yee aliwaga karao masiku zake before, wakapiga mission ikabackfire akatupwa nje ya force. Saa siku hizi ni dere wa mathrii lakini aliwaga konkodi kwanza kabla apigwe jeki akawa dere.

Juzi Exmegu ametokea mtaani na tumanzi tuwili wee! Tusupuu mbaya. Si unajua tu stori za watu wa mathrii? Kumendea tumanzi tuwadhii. Tumanzi tufupi alafu tumekuvalia zile mahipster za kuua mzee. Kamoja kamedandia Exmegu kwa mkono. Exmegu anajiskia ovyo. Wakaingia baesa moja ya mtaa wakapanda upstairs.

Kumbe hapa down kuna jamaa wawili wamebariz, wanapiga mabale zao mdogo tu. Mmoja ni Morioh na mwingine ni Kize. Morioh yuko juu ya kaveve mbaya. Taksin ni kaa ball ya golf. Ametafuna mpaka mshipa imetokea hapo juu kando ya macho ni kaa itapasuka. Wamecheki Exmegu na tumanzi, wakaangaliana wakapigana gota. Baaas. Wameblow.

Morioh akaamka spidi, akaenda baesa na usuko manyum, akatema ile veve, akaitisha mawode. Akaosha mdomo fiti, matoothpick kwa sana. Hajui kaa huto tumanzi ni twa mtaa ama ni tumbabi. Mababi hawapendi veve.

Sasa akapanda upstairs aka kuta Exmegu saa io ndio wameletewa keroro.

Morioh, "Sasa Exmegu ni aje?
Exmegu, " Ah Morioh, vopo? Si upoe down? Bamba ile seat. Salimia hawa mabeste wa mine. Huyu ni Shiroh (Saa Shiroh?), na huyu ni Wairish (Ni aje Wairish?)". Morioh akapoa. Exmegu hajui ni kaa kuita chui kati kati ya senge.

Morioh bila kuzubaa ashawaitishia keroro ingine. Akapigia Kize mobile hapo chini, " Wee kize si ukam na hiyo drink yetu? Kuja tupoe hapa na Exmegu". Kize akapanda. Amebeba mzinga ile soo ya Viceroy. 750 mils mzee.

Wakapiga piga stori. Morioh ako na bidii ya kuitisha. Kidogo ashaitisha rao kaa tatu. Exmegu akaanza kushindwa eeh, ni aje? Hawa wasee wako na mepu nini? Hata tumanzi tumeanza kuskiza stori za Morioh na Kize zaidi. Na Exmegu ameanza kuskia yuko drinks kias.

Kidogo Morioh akachomoa bahasha akampa Wairish. Akamshow, " Hebu nishkie hii baasha."
Wairish aka muuliza, "Ni ya?" Morioh akamshow, "Ah wee nishkie. Kuna cuzo wa mine nimeona akikam na akiniona na chapaa yee unisumbua vibaya sana". Wairish kucheki ile burungo, imejaa machapaa. Ngiri kaa mbao na upuzi. Akasema, "Sawa, lakini usisahau". Morioh anataka tumanzi tujue yee anaso. Actually Morioh na Kize ni mapedla wa madregi, mataptap na maboza. Wamekungaria to death. Kutoka juu mpaka chini madesigner. Na mabling? Wachanna Prezzo.

Exmegu akaingiza njeve. Kumethoka.

Stori na rao zingine. Shiroh sasa ata ashawachilia mkono ya Exmegu. Kidogo Kize akaita Exmegu. "Na Exmegu wacha nikuulizeee, ile kisanga ulimaliza?"
"Ati?"
"Ile kisanga ya juzi tulikutoa karao"
"Wee Kize umechizi nini? Unaongea juu ya nini?"
"Wacha kujifanya Exmegu. Morioh, si huu msee tulimchangia ngiri mbao juzi atoke Buuru karao?"
Morioh akasema, "Eeeh huu chalii alipiga manzi hapa ni kaa anamada nyoka bana. Manzi akajaza P3, Exmegu ndani."

Tumanzi tunacheki Exmegu tumepanua mdomo hatuamini.

Exmegu akasimama. Amejam vibaya mpaka mshipa ya shingo inashow. "Yaani Morioh mmekuja hapa na hio design? Wacheni wazimu! Shiroh, Wairish tuishieni wachaneni na hawa machizi!"
Tumanzi hatubanduki mzee. Tukasema na chorus, "Ah ah mi siendi!"

Mambo ya Exmegu iliishia hapo. Anyway mwishowe alichomoka akarusha mkono akawashow, "Baas, Morioh, Kize, kaeni nao! Hata kwanza ni makuro! Makuro wa mtaa hata sina haja!"

Akaishia.

Maisha ya mtaani ni tamu. To death.

Part mbee. Kusetiana. Uma njaro.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fao!! Yaani nimtinga ma veterans wa kbw hapa!!

Anonymous said...

Hii risto ni kali, pole sana EXmegu, maisha huwa hivyo.

Anonymous said...

Ninauma njalo vile umedai. Part mbee lazima ikuom ama itakuwa noma. Huyu Exmegu jo. Si atawamada na skills zake za karao?

Hongera Aizoh. Naona unaziweza.

Advert yangu ishaiva.

bantutu said...

Yani Methu hajafika!! Niko!!! Namba tuta ni yangu!!

bantutu said...

Oleeee!! Daddi uko ups!! Nangoja sequel ilinichambue vi-propa!! Ata wewe boy wa mtaaaa? Nini?
Hihihi!! Tuko wengi naona..

Anonymous said...

Ivory - You! You! You!

Yumbus, ni kali ii risto imeninywa na straw! Hehehehe Kali kizee. Wa wa wawaaaa!

Spidey/Tato said...

yawa this bantuts lazima tumtie zi bana!...yeye ni kama kirusi..yaani virusi singula jo. ameinfect blogusphere na maryhmes na mi sinyiti, si-get, si-comprehend

halafu ageusi anaunleash ati compe...zi!! dooo!! manze ebu mfight hii system...nimekuja kuwashika!

egm said...

Hehe, yaani Aco amepewe kompe na Aizoh! I hope hatutafanywa tungoje miaka na miaka kuona hii drama ya mtaa itaishia wapi...

Farmgal said...

Ivory wewe nimekujua we ni nani....start your blog siste

eeh ii story imebamba ni ka novel....andika sequel haraka haraka.

@nick if you cant beat them join them!

mama shady said...

good one!tunangojea hio part two!woi exmegu...hio jina inanifurahisha

Anonymous said...

Bantuts, mi pia mmoja wao.Beste yako Metho yuko?

Nick, matime huenda zikichange dadii.Haushiki mtu.

Bomseh, Exmegu hawawezi hao.Hao ni magondi.
egm, tegea dadii,tegea.
mam shady, shukran siste!

Unyc said...

Aizoh hii ni risto deadly kabisa...we ni Acolyte Sheng version...24 kando yani...
Mapropu!

Sue said...

Hehehe.. Ai nishikie ii bahasha.. Iyo ni kali..
Enyewe naelewa izo njaro zenyu za utiaji... Kwani hamhurumianangi??
Nangoja iyo Part 2 kwa hamu
:.Just Sue.:

mbolewa said...

Hiyo Aizho ni kali,najua ni ileklub yako palepale ,zile stairs za kwenda upstairs,na unakulanga njaro hapo down na mabeste wako na kusosrora wadhii.Anyway mamboz ni hivyo,nitakuja huko hii weekend.nilisare viceroy bwana,ndovu tu.part 2 haraka

Klara said...

I kijaad, I somaad, n I chekaad tena sana..
Ati"Hata kwanza ni makuro! Makuro wa mtaa hata sina haja!" LOL!
Pole kwa Exmegu!

Betty said...

LMAO..hilarious!
woiye aki Exmegu..walimrusha mbaya!
uhm..sikushika sheng yote lakini enyewe risto yenyewe ilinibamba.

Frankie said...

sheng is funny language, could u translate that into english for the rest of us? but sorry for your falling for cheap tricks , but my fone just died too. i think i will survive, anyway.