Taste ya walami

Walami hawanaga taste ya mamanzi. Hataa! Cheki haka kamamaa.

Na ati ni m-celeb. Aiish! Haka ata ukiniwahi sare natia ziii. Hata ukiniongezea makwalu. Tupelekeni mamanzi wetu huko. Cheki ingine yake.

Kwetu ukiwa na wife kaa huyu unasemekana unakamada na ubao. Ati hakamangi any.

Hizi boobs nazo ni aje? Moja inacheki Uhunyee na ingine Ongwaro.

Si hata afadhali huyu Malkia?

Lakini anakaa ni kaa anaeza niwahi KO. (I'ma whip yo aarrsse, AFRICAN!)

Na sasa manzi wa kikwetu..........(drumrooooollllll)

Mboko! Ama?

It's Furahi Day!

And I will be taking a few of these later today. To unwiiind, youknowwhatamsaying?

Sadly, not too much though. I'll have to do the local. Polite.

Gotta wedding to attend in the slopes kesho. Ngware! Nice weekend y'all!

Careful how you ask your questions.

I heard an interesting exchange the other day at a local pub. I was sitting at the counter chatting with the barmaid inside. Serving at the tables behind was a chick in real tight jeans, leaving very little to the imagination as to the size of her assets. Normally such things dont escape me.

Then from behind the counter where there are some more tables comes a guy who I presume is the manager. He asks the tight jeans, "Wanjiru, nuu wi na thutha?"

Now this kisapere can be translated to English in two ways. One, it could mean, "Who is at the back?" No problem there unless you know some grown ups who are right then playing piggy back with some kids and you dont know who is carrying who. Of course the guy wanted to know who was serving customers at the tables behind.

It could also mean, "Who has a behind?" Now tight jeans has a fairly big one but she's apparently not aware of this particular endowment cos she says, "Not me. Maybe Njeri."

When the guy leaves I decide to joke with her about this and ask her, "Yaani you dont have a behind?" She gets my meaning and says, "Ah go away! Of course I have." And she swings it.

Then I think to myself, this could have been worse. The guy could have asked, "Nuu urendia thutha?"

In which case he would either have wanted to know who is serving at the tables behind or who is selling ass.

I finish my drink and leave feeling very amused.

I wont be using this contraption any more. My madam is laughing her head off.

She knows the following:

1. My conscience never allows me to gaff in the house.

2. My pride wont allow me to walk out of my house to gaff.

3. Now the law wont allow me to do it anywhere else.

Looks like I will have to quit altogether.

P/s. Blogger wont allow me to put a title to this post. What to do?